So it's taken me a little while to get this all written down but here goes!
Tuesday morning (the 26th) I had my 37 week OB appointment, at 8:00am, everything checked out normal, gained a pound (which brought me up 5 from where I started), BP was a little high, 120/80 which is completely normal but higher compared to my normal 105/60. Nothing to worry about though. The doctor comes in, asked if I've been contracting at all. I told him Sunday night I thought she was coming and he said "I bet you've made progress from last week" to which I answered, "I sure hope so after all these contractions and this pain!" He listens to her heartbeat, feels her position, and measures my belly (all of which is normal)
Then he gloves up and as he checks my cervix his face changes, "well you are a good 4almost 5, super stretchy and fully effaced. I wouldn't be surprised if you have her today but for sure by this weekend!" My jaw dropped and I said "what? no that's not possible. I'm totally not ready for her!" He then said "well we should probably head on over to labor and delivery and hook you up to some monitors and see if your contracting. Do you want to go home and get your bags or just have Ryan meet you here with them?" He totally took me by surprise when he said this and then I told him I was going home and would call if anything changed. He wasn't super happy with that but agreed since I live so close. (the whole 2 blocks)
I drive home and told Ryan he could go to work (he was scheduled 11-5) and that I would call if anything happened. But before he left I asked him to install the car seat and get her bassinet out and ready in our bedroom. Then I started cramping and had lots of lower back pain. I then changed my mind about him working all day. We decided Ryan should go in until 12 and finish up everything and if I needed him I would call right away and he would come home. As he walked out the door at 8:50 I had a bad feeling he shouldn't have gone but brushed it off and started folding the 3 baskets of laundry I had sitting in my living room. I ate a turkey sandwich because for some reason I was starving and at 9:18am I had my first contraction, while talking to my friend Rachel on the phone and 5 minutes later I had my 2nd one. I was blindsided by how fast this had really started. I called Ryan back home and then called my mom to come pick up Landyn.
It was super emotional saying goodbye to Landyn when I put him in his car seat in my mom's truck. I didn't think it would be so hard but I tried to stay busy getting stuff done here while waiting for Ryan to get home... I might have cried the entire time and talked to a few friends, one of which who was convinced I was going to have Lilly on the living room floor (haha Jess!)
Ryan arrived home sometime around 10 or so and we decided to labor at home for awhile to make sure this was the real thing. I was having tons of pressure and just had a bad feeling so I decided we should call and ask the doctor if I could go to his office and have him check me to see if I had dilated anymore. He told me I just needed to go strait to labor and delivery and he would meet me there to check me. So around 11 we headed up to the hospital and got checked in, after an hour of paperwork and monitoring (it's now around 12) my OB came into check me and make sure I was staying. He said I was a good 5 and we could break my water if I wanted. Ryan and I talked about it and said sure, I was open to breaking my water. I do remember Ryan saying very clearly "This will be the last intervention though" I felt so proud of him in that moment, he really understood that I wanted to do this naturally and didn't want any to stand in my way this time.
I spend the next hour contracting every 2-5 minutes and bouncing on the birth ball while Ryan rubs my lower back. (I'm so glad I tried that this time, back labor sucks!) The nurse (who happens to be the same nurse that helped with Landyn's delivery, she's AMAZING and I was so glad she was there for Lilly's birth too!)is in and out but for the most part it's me and Ryan in a very dim room just working through each contraction together. I really have a great husband when it comes to birth, he handles the whole thing VERY well and knows what to say and what I need from him. The next time the nurse comes in she's going to check me to see if I've made any progress (this is 1:00) I'm still 5 and I get super discouraged, how did I not make any progress in an hour?!?! But about 20 minutes later things started getting really painful and the contractions were strong. Ryan had me get on all 4's on the bed so he could put pressure on my lower back since yet again I had back labor. This worked well for about 20 or 30 minutes. Ryan calls the nurse back and asks if she can fill up the tub and help me in. She decides to check me again because she thought I had made huge progress in that little time by just looking at me. She starts the tub up and comes back to check me. I'm 8 and she says "Honey you can't go in the tub we don't do water births here" I try to convince her I still want to go into the tub but gave up since the contractions are so intense, moving off the bed is not happening at this point, I couldn't even stand up.
Fast forward 10 minutes, my room fills up with people, I'm on all 4's on my bed still and in comes the doctor, it's a little before 2. The doctor comes in, takes 1 look at me and says "I'm going to go change into my blue PJ's" (he's a total joker and is hilarious) Around 2 he checks me and says there is just a rim, I'm telling him I can't do this and he tells me "Too late you don't have a choice"
This is where it gets interesting, the nursing staff wants me to flip over and the doctor says "no if this is how she wants to do it then this is how we'll do it. I've done a few deliveries this way and it's not a big deal at all" Apparently there were some weird looks between the nurses and the resident but I wasn't paying attention to any of them, in fact I didn't even realize there were 5 people in the room at the time besides me and Ryan. The doctor applied warm compresses in hopes of me not tearing (which didn't work but it helped a lot!) I'm not sure how many times I pushed but Ryan and I are thinking around 5-7. The doctor was really good about telling me to not push soo hard and only to push with contractions even though I just wanted her out. I spend this time saying I can't do this and that I want drugs. I still to this day wish I had been calm, I did not want to lose control like I did. It is the one thing that bothers me about her birth and I wish I could go back and change.
At 2:22pm Lillyanna Kate came into the world. The Doctor suctioned her mouth and then passed her between my legs so I could hold her. After a few minutes of me saying "she's soo tiny" (I'm pretty sure her cord had stopped pulsing, which is what I had wanted but forgot to talk to the OB about) Ryan cut her cord and I flipped over. Lilly laid on my chest for awhile but wasn't interested in nursing (which at the time worried me!) and the doctor stitched me up. She went over to the warmer and got weighed and measured. Then she came back to me where she stayed for the next hour, nursing constantly. They gave her a bath in our room and then she came back to nurse some more. (she basically nursed for the first 3 hours of her life)
The one thing I did hear while the doctor was stitching me up was "Same time next year everyone?" Ryan and I just looked at each other.... we'll see what happens.
A million dreams for the World we're gonna Make!
14 hours ago